Women Less Likely to Have Orgasms in Casual Sex

Interesting research studies in the New York Times Article on Women Less Likely to Have Orgasms in Casual Sex.

Women are less likely to have orgasms during uncommitted sexual encounters than in serious relationships.

Natasha Gadinsky, 23, says she doesn’t have any regrets from her years in college. But the time she hooked up with a guy at Brown University does come close.

Fashion Tips for Men for Winter 2013 (Guest Post Nicolas from Kinowear)


Going about wearing the right clothes in the right way can feel like a bit of a minefield, and mark my words, it’s easy to make mistakes if you don’t know what you’re doing. But don’t worry, it all boils down to one formula: choosing your clothes well + putting them together properly. The Kinowear Crash Course was developed to help guys like you with free, short snippets of advice about how to dress well without breaking the bank or spending hours in front of the mirror every day.

Be Happy Every Day!

Happy Friday!

I believe that one of the biggest reasons that you do things that you know you’re not supposed to do is because you feel bored or you fear feeling bored.

For most of you, your lives are so filled with stimuli, not to mention responsibilities, that it’s almost impossible for you to sit still and do nothing, much less relax-even for a few minutes. What I’d like you to do is allow yourself to be bored. I’m not kidding. If you allow yourself to be bored, even for an hour-or less-and don’t fight it; the feelings of boredom will be replaced with feelings of peace. And, after a little practice, you’ll learn to relax.

What Are You Envious About?

Here is a recent blog post from Danielle LaPorte on being envious and judgement. Worth a read.

Examine your envy

“Soulful” goals aren’t necessarily about austerity or wanting less (but hey, sometimes less furniture = more inner peace.) You don’t need to aim to save the planet or sell your worldly possessions to be in your Soul zone.

And wanting mogul-size bucks or notoriety might not be any less Soulful than wanting to rescue people or start a charity.

Here’s what I figure: You just never can know the machinations of someones else’s Soul — their karma, their dharma, their story. Maybe they’re learning precisely what they need to learn in this lifetime to become self-actualized, maybe they’re struggling to get free, maybe they’re an enlightened being who’s come to stir shit up so we can learn compassion. Life only knows.

But we tend to judge other people’s goals and types of success that we don’t relate to.

Here’s the question to answer in your heart, on your blog or Facebook etc.

What kind of success are you envious of?

Interpret the question anyway you want. Go with the first thing that comes to mind.

By observing our envy, we shine light on our true desires.   

Change Your Life: Take Action NOW

Change your life and take action now! Just a little reminder on how important  taking action is, in your daily life.  When you hold back, delay, put off, procrastinate  for whatever reason (excuse) you’re keeping yourself where you are.  I know that a lot of times it’s because you have fear about whatever it is that you’re putting off, but I guarantee that the result of pushing through that fear pales in comparison to living what you think is a “safe” life inside your comfort zone and then finally regretting that you never stepped up to the plate and lived what’s possible for you…and usually that regret gets stronger and stronger as you get older.  SO, make the choice to change your life and TAKE ACTION right now and you’ll have no regrets.

How to Have Great Sex

How to have great sex? So she’s at your place, seems interested and things are progressing (you’re kissing ETC.). The problem is that you might be inexperienced and not sure what to do next.

In your head you’re thinking, I’m not a stud in bed, I’m going to blow this.’

Not necessarily. Believe it or not, your inexperience is a blessing in disguise and can lead to you being the best she’s ever had. Most guys who think they’re studs in bed, think they know it all and they get busy performing; whether the girl likes what they’re doing or not. Then, afterwards, they think everything’s fine. Meanwhile, she’s telling her friends that it was just okay and that she really wasn’t satisfied.

How to have great sex? What’s the secret?

Be interested in her needs by whispering the following question into her ear:

‘What do you like?’

She rarely hears this and will become very excited. If you don’t understand her answer, don’t get nervous.

Just say,

‘Show Me’.

I know, I know…SIMPLE. Less work, more return; and now she wants more so she’ll be pursuing you! The amazing thing is actually listened to her and didn’t guess what she wanted, you actually asked. That also sends a clear signal you know how to communicate. And that’s sexy and how to have great sex!!!

Try it and let us know what happens!

Why Women Are Flaking on You For Dates (& How to Stop It)

women flaking on men for dates

Today we want to discuss women flaking on men for dates and what to do about it. You’re a good looking guy, have great hair, hip clothes, flashy car, you’re successful in business and you know all the right people; you even have no noticeable, nervous twitching. Let’s say that none of this is over the top and you’re not using all these things as crutches. Basically, you think you have your act together. So why do you still have problems attracting women, holding the attraction and getting them not to flake?

Even after they’ve shown initial interest by approaching you, telling you they’re interested and getting together with you for mind-blowing physical activity? I bet you never thought that you might have it TOO together for them. Here’s what I mean: You might be too perfect. Women want to nurture and fix you. When they’re with you they try to imagine where they would fit into your life and what they would help you with. You’ve provided them with nothing to fix…you’re ALREADY fixed. You might also be doing something relationship oriented that’s giving them the ‘go signal’ to have those thoughts in the first place. Women rarely do that with me. They know the deal and don’t consider any other possibilities.

Here are a couple of other reasons directly from women on why women are flaking on you for dates:

* ‘You are a good looking guy, its because we’re afraid we’ll get hurt, its a defense mechanism we have because we have been burned so many times.’

* ‘I really like you and I like being around you, but I am moving so I am trying my best NOT to see you, I am sorry I am just scared.’

Believe it!

This is not a lack of attraction but you might be scaring them; they’re actually intimidated by you. All this time you actually had higher status.

The good news is that you’re much more powerful and attractive than you originally thought. It makes total sense that they would fear you. Remember, the hotter they are, the lower their self-esteem and the average looking men they date cheat on them less (they think). Whereas with you, they assume that every woman feels as THEY do around you so you must get physical with all of them and they’re threatened by this.

What to do? Relax a little and go out looking a little like you just got out of bed once in a while.


Cory Skyy: How Inner Game (& Eye Game) Helps You in Dating

cory skyy attracting women, approaching women, jason treu, brent smith

Here is a show we did on Vokle with Cory Skyy, a dating expert, on our BSL Insider Live Show. This is a 6 minute dating advice segment on how to meet women, approach women, and use this method to meet women. You can check out Cory here and learn more about his products and services.


Positively Rewire Your Brain to Remove Anxiety & Stress – Dr. Kristin Neff, Associate Professor at University of Texas at Austin

dr kristin neff, speaks on happiness, compassion, self-love to eliminate anxiety, stress, social anxiety, depressionBSL Insider Exclusive: Kristin Neff joins Brent Smith on the show today to show you how to positively rewire your brain to remove anxiety and stress. Sometimes it can be very difficult to go through our entire day being happy. Many times throughout our lives we feel a sense of doubt and frustration in our everyday lives (which also includes, stress, anxiety, self-criticism and more). We feel like we fail at what we do, and even feel a lack of direction in life. It’s as though we’re running on a hamster wheel – always moving but never in a forward direction. We sometimes look at other people and notice great things going on in their lives and wonder why we can’t have that same success and happiness in ours.

Often when we suffer in our lives, we feel as if we’re alone. We bottle up our feelings and issues from others and let them dwell within us. We put our pain in the corner – away from everything and everyone – as a means to keep it out of our lives. Through our efforts of doing this, the pain always seems to seep back through, and a lot of times, more and more of it piles on. We soon find ourselves trapped with nowhere to go.

Today at BSL, we introduce an amazing woman who has spent many years discovering the truth behind self-compassion as well as how to better ones self-esteem. As Associate Professor of Human Development & Culture in the Educational Psychology Department at the University of Texas in Austin, Texas, Kristin Neff has dedicated much of her life to helping others who reach a point in their lives and become stuck in fear, depression, anxiety, pain, and suffering. Hit the play button below if you wish to hear about Kristin’s incredible journey down this path to help better everyone she comes in contact with.


After studying communications as an undergraduate at the University of California in Los Angeles, Kristin Neff continued her graduate work by studying moral development with Dr. Elliot Turiel at the University of California at Berkely, receiving her Ph.D. in 1997. Her dissertation research was conducted in Mysore, India, where children’s moral reasoning was examined. During her last year of graduate school, Kristin became interested in Buddhism, and still practices meditation in the Insight Meditation tradition to this day. Kristin was hired at the University of Texas in 1999, and was later promoted to Associate Professor in 2006.


• The truth behind self-compassion

• How to be loved by friends, family, and even strangers

• How to deal with suffering

• How to start living more positively each and every day

• How to positively rewire your brain to remove anxiety and stress

• The truth behind self-criticism and how to use it constructively

• How to stop having people judge you

• How to be more grateful for the things you have in life

• The truth behind narcissism

• The benefits of self-love and how you can use it positively

• And so much more…

Kristin Neff has a website dedicated to helping others rewire their brain to best suit them for living a more positive lifestyle. Kristin has even developed an eight week program designed to help people learn about self-compassion so they can start living happier lives, and even reach out to help people they interact with do the same.


Kristin Neff can be found over at self-compassion.org, which is one of the best websites in the world on the topic of self-compassion, and offers tons of free content including videos, exercises, written guides, and more.


What things have you been struggling with in your life? When you feel as though you are suffering or dealing with stressful situations, do you feel alone? Understand that you are not alone. Reach out and place a comment below about how you can be more self-compassion to yourself and others. You never know, you just might turn your life around by realizing your problem alone, and you could help turn someone else’s life around as well for the better. Listen to positively rewire your brain to remove anxiety and stress.

Dr. Neff at TedX:

How to Get a Girlfriend (Stop Obsessing!)

Happy Champagne Sunday and make this a great week. We wanted to share an area where we see people constantly sabotaging their happiness and success in dating and relationships with the opposite sex. As dating and relationship coaches (as well as life coaches), one of the biggest hindrances we see to your improvement in the area of “Success in Dating and Relationships” has to do with your thoughts. Some of you think way too much. You sometimes call it “being in your head”. Your head is filled with negative thoughts and emotions and it feels like your mind is racing and you can’t shut it off.

Because when a thought arrives you don’t ignore it. Instead you decide to latch onto it and start obsessing over it. Your thoughts never appear fully formed. They start out much simpler. You’ll notice that thoughts don’t just go on and on. There are pauses between them. Most of you currently fill these pauses with more thoughts as fast as you can. The same way you try and fill the awkward silence in the conversations you have with women and men. What should you do? Simple. Practice “not thinking.” You can actually turn your unproductive emotions and negative thoughts off like a light switch. If everybody learned this, it would really change things in the world. It’s very powerful in all aspects of your life. How? Start paying attention to your thought process like you’re an outsider just observing. Be careful not to get caught up in the ACTUAL thoughts. Look at the natural pauses between your thoughts and practice not generating more and more of them. Now see if you can do that for longer and longer periods of time. It’s not going to happen over night but with practice you should see steady improvement.

What do you think? Try it and let us know what happens!