Why Women Are Flaking on You For Dates (& How to Stop It)

women flaking on men for dates

Today we want to discuss women flaking on men for dates and what to do about it. You’re a good looking guy, have great hair, hip clothes, flashy car, you’re successful in business and you know all the right people; you even have no noticeable, nervous twitching. Let’s say that none of this is over the top and you’re not using all these things as crutches. Basically, you think you have your act together. So why do you still have problems attracting women, holding the attraction and getting them not to flake?

Even after they’ve shown initial interest by approaching you, telling you they’re interested and getting together with you for mind-blowing physical activity? I bet you never thought that you might have it TOO together for them. Here’s what I mean: You might be too perfect. Women want to nurture and fix you. When they’re with you they try to imagine where they would fit into your life and what they would help you with. You’ve provided them with nothing to fix…you’re ALREADY fixed. You might also be doing something relationship oriented that’s giving them the ‘go signal’ to have those thoughts in the first place. Women rarely do that with me. They know the deal and don’t consider any other possibilities.

Here are a couple of other reasons directly from women on why women are flaking on you for dates:

* ‘You are a good looking guy, its because we’re afraid we’ll get hurt, its a defense mechanism we have because we have been burned so many times.’

* ‘I really like you and I like being around you, but I am moving so I am trying my best NOT to see you, I am sorry I am just scared.’

Believe it!

This is not a lack of attraction but you might be scaring them; they’re actually intimidated by you. All this time you actually had higher status.

The good news is that you’re much more powerful and attractive than you originally thought. It makes total sense that they would fear you. Remember, the hotter they are, the lower their self-esteem and the average looking men they date cheat on them less (they think). Whereas with you, they assume that every woman feels as THEY do around you so you must get physical with all of them and they’re threatened by this.

What to do? Relax a little and go out looking a little like you just got out of bed once in a while.

 

Cory Skyy: How Inner Game (& Eye Game) Helps You in Dating

cory skyy attracting women, approaching women, jason treu, brent smith

Here is a show we did on Vokle with Cory Skyy, a dating expert, on our BSL Insider Live Show. This is a 6 minute dating advice segment on how to meet women, approach women, and use this method to meet women. You can check out Cory here and learn more about his products and services.

http://www.vokle.com/events/61775-brent-smith-live/questions/249406-cory-tell-us-about-the-ey

Positively Rewire Your Brain to Remove Anxiety & Stress – Dr. Kristin Neff, Associate Professor at University of Texas at Austin

dr kristin neff, speaks on happiness, compassion, self-love to eliminate anxiety, stress, social anxiety, depressionBSL Insider Exclusive: Kristin Neff joins Brent Smith on the show today to show you how to positively rewire your brain to remove anxiety and stress. Sometimes it can be very difficult to go through our entire day being happy. Many times throughout our lives we feel a sense of doubt and frustration in our everyday lives (which also includes, stress, anxiety, self-criticism and more). We feel like we fail at what we do, and even feel a lack of direction in life. It’s as though we’re running on a hamster wheel – always moving but never in a forward direction. We sometimes look at other people and notice great things going on in their lives and wonder why we can’t have that same success and happiness in ours.

Often when we suffer in our lives, we feel as if we’re alone. We bottle up our feelings and issues from others and let them dwell within us. We put our pain in the corner – away from everything and everyone – as a means to keep it out of our lives. Through our efforts of doing this, the pain always seems to seep back through, and a lot of times, more and more of it piles on. We soon find ourselves trapped with nowhere to go.

Today at BSL, we introduce an amazing woman who has spent many years discovering the truth behind self-compassion as well as how to better ones self-esteem. As Associate Professor of Human Development & Culture in the Educational Psychology Department at the University of Texas in Austin, Texas, Kristin Neff has dedicated much of her life to helping others who reach a point in their lives and become stuck in fear, depression, anxiety, pain, and suffering. Hit the play button below if you wish to hear about Kristin’s incredible journey down this path to help better everyone she comes in contact with.

OUR BSL INSIDER:

After studying communications as an undergraduate at the University of California in Los Angeles, Kristin Neff continued her graduate work by studying moral development with Dr. Elliot Turiel at the University of California at Berkely, receiving her Ph.D. in 1997. Her dissertation research was conducted in Mysore, India, where children’s moral reasoning was examined. During her last year of graduate school, Kristin became interested in Buddhism, and still practices meditation in the Insight Meditation tradition to this day. Kristin was hired at the University of Texas in 1999, and was later promoted to Associate Professor in 2006.

IN THIS EPISODE, YOU WILL LEARN:

• The truth behind self-compassion

• How to be loved by friends, family, and even strangers

• How to deal with suffering

• How to start living more positively each and every day

• How to positively rewire your brain to remove anxiety and stress

• The truth behind self-criticism and how to use it constructively

• How to stop having people judge you

• How to be more grateful for the things you have in life

• The truth behind narcissism

• The benefits of self-love and how you can use it positively

• And so much more…

Kristin Neff has a website dedicated to helping others rewire their brain to best suit them for living a more positive lifestyle. Kristin has even developed an eight week program designed to help people learn about self-compassion so they can start living happier lives, and even reach out to help people they interact with do the same.

WHERE YOU CAN FIND KRISTIN:

Kristin Neff can be found over at self-compassion.org, which is one of the best websites in the world on the topic of self-compassion, and offers tons of free content including videos, exercises, written guides, and more.

JOIN IN THE CONVERSATION:

What things have you been struggling with in your life? When you feel as though you are suffering or dealing with stressful situations, do you feel alone? Understand that you are not alone. Reach out and place a comment below about how you can be more self-compassion to yourself and others. You never know, you just might turn your life around by realizing your problem alone, and you could help turn someone else’s life around as well for the better. Listen to positively rewire your brain to remove anxiety and stress.

Dr. Neff at TedX:

How to Get a Girlfriend (Stop Obsessing!)

Happy Champagne Sunday and make this a great week. We wanted to share an area where we see people constantly sabotaging their happiness and success in dating and relationships with the opposite sex. As dating and relationship coaches (as well as life coaches), one of the biggest hindrances we see to your improvement in the area of “Success in Dating and Relationships” has to do with your thoughts. Some of you think way too much. You sometimes call it “being in your head”. Your head is filled with negative thoughts and emotions and it feels like your mind is racing and you can’t shut it off.

Because when a thought arrives you don’t ignore it. Instead you decide to latch onto it and start obsessing over it. Your thoughts never appear fully formed. They start out much simpler. You’ll notice that thoughts don’t just go on and on. There are pauses between them. Most of you currently fill these pauses with more thoughts as fast as you can. The same way you try and fill the awkward silence in the conversations you have with women and men. What should you do? Simple. Practice “not thinking.” You can actually turn your unproductive emotions and negative thoughts off like a light switch. If everybody learned this, it would really change things in the world. It’s very powerful in all aspects of your life. How? Start paying attention to your thought process like you’re an outsider just observing. Be careful not to get caught up in the ACTUAL thoughts. Look at the natural pauses between your thoughts and practice not generating more and more of them. Now see if you can do that for longer and longer periods of time. It’s not going to happen over night but with practice you should see steady improvement.

What do you think? Try it and let us know what happens!

 

How to Attract Women — Confidence!

build confidence in dating and relationships

Happy Champagne Weekend from Brent. Have a fantastic weekend as usual. Here are our thoughts on how to attract women and another possibility to consider.

How to attract women? Confidence! This single factor is the key to true success. Those of you who believe you deserve prosperity attain it. Those of you who don’t believe you deserve it, often don’t keep it.

You’ve probably heard the stories of lottery winners who lost their money in the same time it took to cash their check. Or sports stars signing gigantic contracts only to find themselves right back where they began. These people took the actions necessary to gain the wealth, however they lacked the confidence that they truly deserved to retain it.

What to do?

Start saying encouraging words to yourself, over and over again until you begin to believe it: ‘I’m happy, I’m healthy, I’m terrific…'”

It may seem silly, but do it anyway; because once you believe you’re worthy, the law of prosperity will begin to supply the wealth.

Don’t believe it? Read below and find out more, along with a video.

How to Find the Career of Your Dreams with Anna Runyan, Classycareergirl.com – BSL Insider Radio

Screen Shot 2013-10-10 at 3.51.21 PM

BSL Insider Exclusive: Anna Runyan from classycareergirl.com joins us on the show today to talk about career advice on how to create your dream job (whether working for a company or starting your own business).

We spend a lot of our time at a job we don’t like. We feel stuck with nowhere to go. A lot of times we feel like we are merely wasting away because we spend so much of our time doing something we hate. After spending years at a job we hate, we change and revise our résumé constantly to submit it online with little to no luck – usually settling for something just to get us out of our current situation but creating a whole new set of problems and issues we never expected to experience – and even worse, if we did expect them.

We start to feel depressed because we no longer believe we are able to find a job, especially in this economy. We feel as though we will be stuck in this endless cycle of unhappy career searches and changes for the rest of our lives – and then that creates even more depression. We wait and wither away as we merely survive as oppose to thrive. Your career, however, does not have to be like this, nor do you need to suffer any longer.

Today’s show introduces you to a career coach – someone who has been stuck before and overcame her challenges to help thousands of people from all over the world to start thriving in their lives and their careers. Originally starting out as a blogger, Anna Runyan figured out how to become unstuck in her career challenges, and pursued her goals and mission to becoming a career coach. As a consultant at a leading strategy and technology consulting firm in San Diego, California, Anna knows exactly what it takes to acquire the career you’ve always wanted, and how you too can follow her tips to start the career of your dreams. Feel free to hit the play button below to hear about Anna’s journey and how you too can apply her tips and techniques to start thriving in your career.

OUR BSL INSIDER:

Anna Runyan used to hate her job. Upon getting unstuck from her own career five years ago, she has dedicated her life’s work to helping tons of professional women to finding a meaningful and purposeful career. After graduating with her MBA, Anna began working as an Adjunct Professor at her company, Booz Allen Hamilton, where she taught and coached employees on how to find career success by identifying their interests, motivation, and skills. From here, Anna realized that her own passion and interests revolved around helping people by helping them find the career that will make them happy. Anna now helps women transition into careers they love in only a few months, and uses her seven years of experience to continue to help others each and every day of her life.

IN THIS EPISODE, YOU WILL LEARN:

• How to discover your goals and mission

• The best way to find a new job that has an 80% higher success rate than what most people are doing – singling you out from the crowd

• Tips on what to do before applying to a new job to increase your chances of finding a career you love

• How to network successfully

• How to contact someone on your career path at the top of their game so they can help you

• How to start a business from scratch

• The biggest mistakes people make today with their careers and how you can avoid them

• How to overcome obstacles and hurtles in your career

• How to discover your entire career path

• How, if you’re an introvert, you can have great success in searching for a career

• And so much more…

Anna Runyan has been there. She knows what it feels like to be stuck in a career that you hate, and even being in over $80,000 worth of debt. She overcame all of her obstacles, found a career she loved, and now she has dedicated her life to helping others do the same.

WHERE YOU CAN FIND ANNA:

You can find Anna on Twitter, as well as Facebook. You can also find out more about her at classycareergirl.com, and she has a bunch of free job search resources at freecareertoolkit.com. If you would like to know about how to receive career coaching from Anna, you can find out more information over at getunstuck.classycareergirl.com.

JOIN THE CONVERSATION:

So many people struggle in their careers. They’re stuck without direction on what to do with it and where to go next. Leave a comment below about your obstacles and hurtles in your career, and what steps you can take next to help overcome these problems. Your input could start a chain reaction to helping tons of other people in need.

PS: Learn how to attract money in your life by creating new career opportunities, starting your own business, taking your business to the next level or ways to ask your current boss for more money today! We show you innovative and breakthrough ways to be a leader and advance your business and career. 

 

How to Find the Most Beautiful Women

How to find the most beautiful women? Another question from the dating and relationship advice mailbag on women, dating and finding the perfect woman for dating, relationships and/or marriage:

Hey Brent, I’m a good looking, social, successful guy and I have a lot of hot, thin, smart women I’m currently seeing; but I’m looking for the most beautiful women and the perfect woman on top of that…you know…hotter, thinner, smarter…my standards are pretty high.  Every time I think I’ve found the right woman, I find something that I don’t like about her and then the search continues (although I still keep the others around to date). Am I too picky in my dating?  Does this perfect woman exist? And if so, how do I find the perfect woman?

“My Answer” below 

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend BACK

Here is a question on how to get your ex-girlfriend (or ex-boyfriend) back and I discuss how to do it, and also share a video on the subject.

Hi Brent,

I have this issue: More than a month ago my girlfriend broke-up with me. She told me that something is broken in her and our relationship isn’t working. We’re still in touch. We see each other in school once a week and sometimes go out on the town just to hang out. But she doesn’t feel the way she used to around me and I still want to be with her. So the question is: how do I get my girlfriend back?

Thanks a lot for helping me.

Learn to Use the Sexual Chemistry Between Men and Women — Dr. Larry Young

BSL Insider Exclusive: Dr. Larry Young, author of “The Chemistry Between Us” joins us on the show today. Learn to use the sexual chemistry between men and women.
chemistry between us cover

Remember when you were taught in school about your brain and how it affects your behavior? And before that, how the food you ate affected the way your brain worked and the chemicals it released?

No? Why aren’t we taught these important things?

Consider the fact that love, relationships, attraction and the way we interact with each other is impacted by our biochemistry, or the chemicals our brain uses to operate the body. Imagine the ramifications. How would you make meaning of your interactions with romantic partners if, for example, one particular day your partner wakes up and starts behaving irritably with you? If you knew the issue was something to do with the health of his or her brain, I bet you wouldn’t let it affect you personally.

This is serious business, especially when it concerns the way we make meaning of our world. Learn to use the sexual chemistry between men and women.

Now, this doesn’t mean it applies to every context and every situation, however it does mean that there’s an interplay of a factor which is affecting our relationships that we may not be considering in our interactions with people. Enter Larry Young, PhD. He’s here to clear up your brain right now, hit play below to listen in. Learn to use the sexual chemistry between men and women.

Our BSL Insider: